Well all I'm officially down in the dumps...yes ms.perky who tries to make everything positive is upset.

everyone is mad at me and I have NO  clue what I did...like megan and sarah are both pissed at me for no reason apparently I didnt call megan and she waited for me forever and I went and saw carrot top instead of hanging out with sarah..whatever..I dont get it..cant they see I have a life other than them

and everyone yells at me around home- I can never do ANYTHING right..bleh bleh bleh

stink on a stick ...thats what I have to say about this...

"This is where I say I've had enough
And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better."- dc

I got an e-mail from alex..*sigh* I miss that kid

A monk got saved in Thailand...God is soooo good.

...never a smudge line never too much....

someone IM me I'm bored out of my mind (iheartdorks801):)

"...Pouring over photographs. I'm living in your letters. Breathe deeply from this envelope it smells like you and I can't be without that scent. It's filling me with all you mean to me..."

"the things you hate the most are the things you hold on to the most because you find comfort in it"

my friend told me that...and it really made me re-think my priorities.

I've showed some people some of the lyrics I've written lately...they say they're really good...I dont know- they're really deep...I wish I thought they were good- cause then I would be more confident with them and show people how I feel through music instead of my emotions cause emotions get sticky...tough stuff

God is good.

...YES THIS IS LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME...

oh goodness---

yesturday was the first day of the driving part of drivers ed...ok so I get there and I'm freaking out cause its my first time and I get in the car and I'm doing good all of a sudden we go through this gate and I dont turn enough so we almost slam right into the gate---I found it quite humorous but my teacher didn't, so today everyone else gets to go driving on the road but he makes me stay in the parking lot I am a good driver! just give me some time- is it my fault that I havent driven before? he expects me to be an expert and I'm not! I actually follow the "no driving until you have your license" rule..psshh he should be happy- anyways today some guy came tha wasnt there yesturday- and of course the teacher adores him since hes a boy I parked way better than him and the teacher make me park like 10 more times and this boy parks once and the teachers like "beautiful ryan beautiful!"- I kid you not!- its like they're lovers or something ...grr...the teacher hasnt smiled once! intense I know...but I still love 'em cause Jesus would and I want to be like JESUS! I know I never will but ....

ANYWAYS---last night I stayed the night with sarah oh goodness..pure comedy! we made invitations for our birthday party (sweet 16 baby!) on the front we put " go go go Sarah go melissa it's our birthday were gonna party like its our birthday were gonna sip some pepsi like its our birthday and you know we dont give a fudge cause its our birthday!" its hillarious..well it was at the time and on the front we were putting little like pictures of balloons and confetti ya know stuff like that and she made the presents extra huge sarah was like "maybe they'll get the idea":) it was so funny! (at the time it was atleast- ofcourse everythings funny at like 12:00 at night or in the morning- whatever..i guess) anyways...

Well I'm kinda in the dumps I feel satan is just bringing up all my weaknesses and trying to attack me with them...like I have a horrible time with being patient and he keeps attacking me with it...and guys I have a weakness for guys ...and I promised myself I would focus only on God right now and try to be a better christian and not worry about guys..guys are such a bad distraction...grr...*kicks satan in the face* I really really really (times a trillion and more ALOT more) dislike satan!!! blahhhhh ---

so I will leave you with this adorable picture of alex on an elephant in Thailand---- ahhhh I miss thailand!!!